41-year-old woman tries to force her boyfriend’s aunt into financial settlement with her boss, boyfriend refuses, only to find out the boss was never involved: “Is there an angle or something?”

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH girlfriend was pressuring me to talk to my family about investing with her employer

    "I'm not comfortable continuing the relationship right now"
  • 02
    Hello everyone! Recently, my girlfriend (41f) and I (40m) had a major argument. For context, she works for a personal wealth management team within a major investment bank.
  • 03
    I am a very open person with personal relationships and we had been together for only about a year, but the relationship seemed strong and I felt it had some legs. I went to her house one Saturday afternoon and arrived later than anticipated (I called and said I was
  • 04
    running late). When I arrived, I apologized and let her know why I was late-my aunt had called and wanted to discuss/clue me in/be candid that she had grown unhappy with the long-term financial advisory team who manages a trust established by her husband (my uncle-she is my aunt
  • 05
    by marriage), of which I am a beneficiary. She is the executor. Hence, the call to discuss things. Wasn't a problem and girlfriend wasn't mad I was two hours late.
  • 06
    Later the following week, she sent me a text asking if my aunt had taken any action. I said "no, she is exploring options and meeting with people as far as I know."
  • 07
    A few hours passed and she texted me again. This time asking if my aunt would be interested in meeting with her boss. I thanked her for the consideration but that I don't feel comfortable suggesting it and "crossing the streams". She
  • 08
    seemed to understand and I wasn't upset―it was just a passive ask and I even felt it was nice of her to try and help out by offering.
  • 09
    That weekend I went over to her house again and as I was preparing dinner, she brought up that if the personal connection was as a concern, her friend works on a different team and she wouldn't be involved in any direct way. I said "no thank you. I don't think that
  • 10
    fixes the hesitancy because there is still a personal association there and i am not involved in the management of the whole thing I my input isn't needed." I was friends with her friend as well. Rather, friendly with and we got along and such.
  • 11
    A few days later, I get another text about this while I was at work. This time saying, "I talked to [friend] and her and her boss are really excited to meet your aunt—would she be willing to meet for dinner?" | said something akin to, "no, I don't think she would want to and I don't feel comfortable asking. Can we
  • 12
    7810 HL 25643 10 HUNDRED DOLL OO E5 /7817770 MAON SARAY 100 FC2 HE 17 ONE HUNDE DIA FC 28628576 A C3 OFAMERICA UNITED FC 2862 FEDERAL HESERVE NOTE HB 33614981 R B2 100 100 HL 705433 MA 312 F UNITED STATES OFAMERICA UNITED STY OFAMERIC UNITED STATES OFAMERICA HB 33 OF HUNDI UNITED STATES OFAMERICA UNITEDS OFAMER HB 33614981 R FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE HB 41636897 E B2 44100 HB 09848010 L HUNDRED DO JULE ED STATE RICA PEDERAL HEEVE NOTE, HF 47723222 C F6 HL 70543307 L12 HL 70 100 OFAMERIC 477 100 HE 17
  • 13
    please not talk about this again? I'm not involved in any of that and I would like to stay in my own lane. I'm not sure why you talked about this with [friend] because I said I wasn't doing this the other night?”
  • 14
    Went over for dinner and to stay the night following day, and we ended up getting into in argument about it. I told her that I felt like I wasn't being heard and she got defensive saying she was just trying to help. I felt bad because she seemed downtrodden about it so I decided to shoot her friend a
  • 15
    text and just let her know that I appreciated the willingness. Then explained why (same reasons as mentioned prior). Her response was: "hey, I am not sure what you are talking about? I haven't heard anything about this?"
  • 16
    That kinda bugged me-girlfriend has told me about this person's excitement to meet aunt and all that. So, I told girlfriend that I had texted and that her friend didn't know what I was talking about. We
  • 17
    ended up getting into an argument and in the moment I asked if there was an angle or something, why she told me about the friend when that was not true, and told her I that should go home and cool down. I did. I thought about it for a a few days and I just couldn't really work it all out in my head—it didn't add up to and I felt uncomfortable.
  • 18
    So, I asked her to talk and we got together and I told her that I am not comfortable continuing the relationship right now and we can take a pause and think about things and talk it through later or we can just end things here-but either way I wasn't comfortable currently and I didn't think think we could have the open conversation
  • 19
    Iwe need to have to make this work at that time. Staying together without a resolution is wouldn't work and we need to resolve things before we continue because as I said, "I'm really confused about basically all of it.”
  • 20
    She was DEVASTATED. Absolutely. To the degree I certainly felt/feel like cr p.
  • 21
    Tell me, did I grossly overreact to the situation? AITAH?
  • 22
    Update: thanks everyone! I feel a lot better about everything and I feel good about my actions in general. At least, more positive. I hate causing people pain in general and I'm glad that it seems people agree that I wasn't out of line. Thanks again.
  • 23
    OldGmaw2023 Ok.. you found out that she lied to you After she kept pushing for you to get aunt to use 'her' company
  • 24
    Saying the 'friend & her boss' were excited to talk with your aunt about a trust that> You are the beneficiary
  • 25
    Sounds like 'she' wants to be watching over Your Money she waved the Red flag Stay away
  • 26
    Lucky-Effective-1564 What money does she get bringing in new business?
  • 27
    BANK
  • 28
    Civil Environment858 NTA and you did not overreact. I get her job does. cross personal boundaries but the second you said no she should have backed off. She values her professional life at the cost of her personal life.
  • 29
    There's nothing wrong with that if that's what she wants... but it should not be at the expense of other people. She even straight up lied to your face. I think she wanted to know how much money you are going to get. You dodged a bullet. Move on and don't
  • 30
    talk about expected inheritances with anyone unless you are writing a prenup.
  • 31
    thexshameless4711 no no no NTA, that was a clear lie on her side, you couldn't sum up everything because there were parts missing.
  • 32
    although it did feel like you were being pressured in as well, I kind of had the same situation, you did the right thing.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article